Hope
by Smiley67
Summary: Over a year after the death's of Emma and Adam, Shal is still grieving, is there any hope? May contain femslash and fans of Brennan, read at your own risk.
1. Chapter 1

Hope

By Smiley

Disclaimer: I don't own Mutant X, if I did, the outcome would have been very different.

Distribution: just ask

Rating R for future chapters

Summary: Shalimar still grieves for Emma one year later, is there any hope?

A/N I was never a Brennan fan so don't shoot me for what I may or may not do to his character. This is my first fic published here so be nice when you review, and I hope you will review.

Chapter 1

Shalimar parked her bike at an old familiar nightclub. She remembered frequenting this place with Jesse, Brennan and Emma. They would drink and dance the night away, making good use of a rare break from the struggles of saving new mutants. As her eyes scanned the club for anything familiar, she was saddened to realize there was no familiarity here. It had been one long painstaking year since she last laid eyes on Emma and Adam. It was slightly over a year since she came to this club with her friends. She shook her head trying to disengage her nightly memory of the Naxcon explosion, she had told Emma to hold on but as the facility collapsed, Emma did also.

She stepped up to the bar and ordered a strong drink then chugged it down with ease. "Shalimar Fox?" A young man from behind the bar asked.

"Who wants to know?" The feral asked in an uncaring tone, as she looked the unfamiliar man over.

"I have a message from a doctor Thomas Ellers," the man said just as three mutants jumped on the attack from out of nowhere.

The man received a deadly psionic blast and electric charge from two mutants while Shalimar disposed of the other. The psionic prepared to blast her as well but her agile form drop kicked him across a table and into the bar while ducking the coil from the elemental. "Jesse," she said into her comlink in an out of breath tone as she raced from the club. "I need for someone to come pick me up."

"Shal," Jesse's tired voice replied. "Brennan is on his way."

- - - - - - -

Lexa and Jesse sat impatiently waiting for Shalimar and Brennan to return. They both wondered if Shal had got herself into trouble, per usual of late; or there was trouble for them all lurking near. "Do you think she will ever be all right?" Lexa asked with concern etched on her face. "She's like a ticking time bomb Jess."

"Well she lost Adam; he was like a father to us all but there was more of a bond with Shal. Also," he dipped his head down as he spoke. "She and Emma had grown to be good friends. That was a hard time for us all."

Brennan burst into the lab without Shalimar. "She said a man was killed by three mutants before the man could give her a message." He stated out of breath.

"Does she need scanned?" Jesse asked looking at his friend in earnest concern.

"She says she's fine," Brennan said with a gesture to indicate she had gone to her room.

"Bren, I thought you were going to try and talk to her." Jesse spoke with a tired voice. "You know, connect a little and get her out of here for a few days."

"I've tried," the elemental frowned. He had wanted Shalimar since they first met but had no luck thus far. She would playfully flirt back on occasion but that was the extent of things. He told himself months ago that if he could not have her, she would have to remain single. He hoped that nobody would ever find out of this jealous streak but it was there.

- - - - - -

Shalimar sat in her room typing on her laptop. This investigation would have gone over more easily if she had told someone on the team the doctor's name. She had tried to withdraw herself from the group since Emma and Adam were killed but it wasn't easy. Brennan seemed to be trying hard to turn their flirtatious games into something more and Jesse hovered around her like a protective father. She supposed he was trying to fill Adam's shoes and Brennan, unknowingly, was trying to fill Emma's.

Shalimar looked at the computer screen somberly as she thought of how Emma never knew her place in Shalimar's life. The two had become fast friends upon Emma's arrival to Mutant X. Over time, Shalimar grew more protective, fonder of and more serious about Emma. She was afraid to tell the psionic how she felt for a few reasons, but mostly out of fear of rejection. She knew Emma and Jesse were rather comfortable together was another reason and Brennan's feelings brought up the rear of her list of reasons. It was all so complicated at the time yet now Shalimar wished day in and day out that she had just one moment in time to tell Emma how deeply she cared.

Shalimar shook her head from her thoughts and read the computer screen. Thomas Ellers was a young doctor who studied genetic engineering and worked, for a short time, at Genomex under the supervision of a scientist named Adam Kane. He went into private practice a short time after Kane left Genomex and kept a low profile since that time.

Shalimar typed some codes into her computer to activate Adam's personal notes. She then did a search for dr. Ellers and came up with only the fact that Adam had kept in occasional contact with him on gene therapy, his daughter Sarah's well being and a couple of GSA matters.

Shalimar read the information twice over before disconnecting from Adam's personal files and removing any trace of her entrance. She knew she had to contact this Thomas Ellers and did not wish to inform the team. She knew however, that it would be wise to inform someone of her activities in the event something went wrong. As she stood from her bed, she decided to have an initial meeting with this man then speak with Jesse.

- - - - - - - -

Brennan awoke early and went in the living room where Shalimar lay sleeping on the couch. This had become a regular occurrence since the death of their mentor and friend, which gave Brennan reason to worry. He knew Shalimar wasn't resting well, they none did for quite some time after the tragedy. He also knew that she should have been picking herself up as time passed but there was no sign of that happening.

He stood and watched her move around slightly with a look of satisfaction on her face. He smiled with hopes that maybe she was dreaming of him and in some way, he was able to help her if only in the world of dreams. If only she would take the hint that he was ready, willing and very willing to help her in the world of the awakened, things would be much better. He smiled and leant down to hear what she was mumbling. He was ready for the ego boost of his name to come from her precious lips but stepped back in shock when he heard the name of Emma.

He pictured himself leaning down to comfort her and she reaching for him. Their lips touching in a tender kiss that quickly turned into hot passion. He leaned over the top of her pressing his aroused organ over her leg to show her what she was doing to him. "Bren," Jesse speaking brought him out of his sexual thoughts and in need of a cold shower.

"Yeah man?" Brennan said and turned away from the molecular to keep his bulge hid.

"What were you doing?" Jesse studied the taller man's back as if he were enthralled in some huge project for the team.

"Shal was moving around in her sleep. I was about to wake her," Brennan lied and shuffled off.

Jesse knew Brennan for a few years now but had been getting a funny vibe from the elemental over the last few months. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but something was off. He was startled when Shalimar grabbed his hand and pulled him close to her. "I know Jes," she said in a whisper. "I've been keeping logs of his behavior when he thinks I'm sleeping. He comes and watches me at least twice a week."

Shalimar stopped talking when Lexa entered the room. She had made friends with the molecular but was still hesitant on allowing her in the inner circle. "Um, I'll just go make us all some breakfast." Lexa said with a knowing smile at Shalimar. She wanted badly to be completely trusted and welcomed into the group but was willing to wait. She understood what they had all been through seeing as she helped Jesse through many nights of restless sleep and nightmares of the explosion. Jesse, in turn, had helped her through her own trials after she had to kill her brother Leo when his powers soared out of control.

Jesse gave Lexa a warm smile in way of thanking her as she walked towards the kitchen. "Continue," he said quietly leaning down to the feral.

"What you saw was nothing Jes," Shalimar continued. "If you hadn't noticed that I barely joke with him anymore, you will now. Sometimes when he watches me, he gets turned on and even rubs himself through his jeans. I'm afraid we never knew the real Brennan Mulwray."

A look of horror crossed Jesse's face and one of anger quickly replaced it. "He's got to go!" He shouted a little louder than he had anticipated.

"No, not just yet. He may be just in need of release in a bad way. Whatever the reason for his behavior, we need to keep him close in the event we have to take action. I'm not afraid Jesse; I just want to find out what is causing him to act like this before I make a move. You have to act as usual and I will keep you posted." Shalimar finished speaking then stood up to go get washed up for breakfast.

"All right," Jesse mumbled in defeat. He hoped that their friend's desire for Shalimar was so strong that he couldn't help himself. He hoped this didn't take a bad turn but feared it might.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N thanks for the reviews, keep them coming.

Chapter 2

Dr. Thomas Ellers sat in a secluded office that was underground, beneath a dance club. Five years ago, he thought this would be an unlikely place to be discovered but now he was certain there was no safe place. He knew she was coming soon and hoped that together, they could stop the madness that would soon beset the mutant world and possibly all of humanity.

He stepped in the back room of the office and looked at an unmoving woman who sat in a wheelchair lightly bandaged. "I know you can't do much just now but she'll help us. I pray that she will at least."

- - - - - - - -

Shalimar had told the gang she needed some alone time as the afternoon drew to a close. She landed the helix some 500 miles away from sanctuary. After stepping out, she quickly cloaked the plane and headed into a dance club.

Earlier that morning she had emailed a random person at the club and simply said, I wish to see Thomas. She knew this was a gamble and she could be causing the doctor's death before she was able to speak with him but had no other choice.

She was skeptically surprised when the email was returned stating for her to go to the address and ask for Rae. She pondered telling the gang so someone could go as back up but decided against it. She wasn't sure exactly why she decided to stick with her initial plan of waiting but followed her gut.

The sun was just hiding under the night sky as she stepped further in the club. She looked around to see a large dance floor with techno-pop blaring through large speakers. The place was jam packed with people, mostly under the age of twenty-five. The walls looked as if they'd seen better days with marks and puncture wounds in them. Shalimar supposed that explained why there were two bouncers in the club and her feral eyes caught sight that one was armed. "Would you like to dance pretty lady?" A short dark haired man who looked as if he hadn't bathed in a week asked the feral.

"No thanks," she replied with a fake smile. "I'm looking for Rae."

The man shrugged and pointed to the bar where a tall slim gray haired woman stood. "Thanks," Shalimar said and shuffled to the bar. "I'm Shalimar Fox." Was all she said sensing no danger but readying for battle.

Rae leant on the bar for a minute looking the feral over before stepping around it and motioning Shalimar to follow her. She did not speak until the two had entered a dank musty hall then headed down some steps. "I can take you to the bottom of the stairs and give you the code but I won't enter." The woman said handing Shalimar a small piece of paper.

"Why not?" Shalimar questioned out of curiosity.

"That's not what I was paid to do." Rae simply stated and trudged back up the stairs.

Shalimar stood deep in thought for a moment sniffing the air for anything dangerous or familiar. Her feral senses noticed something faint but she couldn't make out the scent. She tapped the code in the small panel and a door opened.

She entered another hall, which seemed to slope downward and go on forever. Her eyes went yellow as she scanned the area in front of her but saw nothing so kept walking. "Shalimar Fox," a tall medium built man with thick glasses said. He had seemed to come from out of thin air but did not startle the alert feral in the least.

"Doctor Ellers?" Shalimar questioned as she met the man's warm gaze.

"Yes," he said pushing a button that opened the wall up into a sitting room. "I have taken the liberty of getting you a light meal and beverage." He smiled at the pensive feral.

"You taste it first," Shalimar said as her eyes flashed yellow.

"Ms. Fox I do understand your precautionary actions but let me assure you of this. By the end of our meeting, you will be certain that I am one of few people you can trust at this point." Doctor Ellers said as he took a sip of her drink and a bite of her salad, potatoes and steak. He then smiled and sat down across from the place he had readied for Shalimar.

Shalimar took her seat and began to eat the delicious food the doctor had prepared for her. "The man you sent to contact me is dead so I would assume someone is on to you." She stated flatly in hopes of rattling him enough that he would quickly give her the reason he wanted her to contact him.

Doctor Ellers remained stone-faced as he looked at the feral and withdrew a small video recorder. "These people have turned my own daughter against me, nothing they do to me will hurt more than that." The doctor proclaimed with a thick sadness in his voice. "I am going to record our conversation and give you the recording in the event you need it."

Shalimar got the distinct feeling that he meant if he should die. For some reason she trusted this man who displayed raw pain at the mention of his daughter though she kept her senses on a high state of alertness should her instincts be incorrect. "That's fine, just get to it." She added as she refilled her drink.

"I'm sure you have done a background check on me so I will bypass those details." The doctor said as he cleared his throat to begin the story. "A year and a half ago, I was contacted by a friend of yours. This friend had uncovered some very disturbing things about your leader, Adam Kane. It was apparent to me that this friend found my name in his files and was desperate to find someone who might help."

"Who is this friend?" Shalimar said tensing up slightly.

"I was afraid to mention the name in the event that you might shut down on me. It was Emma Delauro." The doctor studied Shalimar's afflicted face upon hearing Emma's name. Emotions of hurt, anger, sadness and something he could not read flashed across her features like a montage of events painted on a mural.

The feral's eyes blazed yellow as she bore them into the doctor's face. "If you're playing me, I will kill you. Emma is dead and I will not have her name drawn into some sick little game!" Shalimar clenched her fists attop the table to indicate her anger and truthfulness.

"I would expect nothing less from such a loyal person as yourself Ms. Fox." The doctor replied keeping a straight face but inwardly shaking. "Ms. Delauro found out that Adam worked for an organization called the Dominion the entire time he lead Mutant X. I'm certain you know of this operation via Lexa Pierce."

"Continue," was all the feral said. She knew Lexa had worked for MX before working for the dominion and deduced that she could have been his go between of sorts. The question the feral couldn't answer though was, why wouldn't Lexa tell them?

"The Dominion's main goal is human-life manipulation which probably is not a surprise to you at this point." The doctor continued as he sipped his drink. "Anyhow, Emma also found out that Adam was cloned by the creator. By this I mean, the one who started all of this genetic research." The doctor pulled out a file and handed it to Shalimar. "The history of the genetic research is all in this file including photos."

"How did Emma find this out?" Shalimar asked not wanting to believe a word this man said. "Is, was Adam evil, what's going on here?" Shalimar shouted her questions, her exasperation growing by the second.

"I'm not sure if he is evil, was evil," the doctor corrected. "I know he wanted to save mutants and so on but the pressure cooker here is this. He found out what Emma had accidentally learned then her powers were beginning to grow, very fast. She contacted me again and we secretly met. I found that drugs to speed up her mutation development were being administered to her."

Shalimar flinched as the doctor handed her the report of his findings. She remembered Adam giving Emma shots for her headaches near the end of her life. The question that needed answering was, were they really for headaches or was this doctor telling the truth? "You are telling me, he was trying to kill Emma?" The feral shuddered at the thought of anyone doing that to her Emma.

"Ms. Delauro began recording their conversations with the very recorder that will be in your possession at the end of our conversation." The doctor responded bluntly. "There are only three short ones but you might find them of interest. Ms. Delauro believed he was trying to kill her because he was afraid of what her finding out this information might do. She had stumbled upon it mistakenly while rummaging through a hidden room that you all weren't allowed to enter."

Shalimar searched the doctor's eyes for some indication that he was lying but found none. "Continue," she stated flatly, as she filled her drink again.

"What Emma and I couldn't quite understand is why Adam would want to kill her if he were in fact trying to save the mutant's. We had no evidence that he wasn't but he is just a clone of this creator and perhaps merely a pawn as well." The doctor's face again turned sad as he spoke. "I looked up to Adam when I was a young man and he joined the fight to save the mutant's. Now I'm not so sure of his game because the dominion too saved mutant's by giving you all tips and assuredly, Adam."

"They want mutants for military purposes and things like that," Shalimar offered. "They too do not want us to expire but want control of everything. If what you are telling me is true, they only lost control when Adam died. They needed him to conclude his experiments to stop expiration dates and to keep mutants alive. So then they sent in Lexa to do their bidding, only she is," Shalimar stopped abruptly. She could not believe how much sense this was all making and it made her heart ache.

"Lexa is resisting, thank the heavens." The doctor said with a smile. "You are very perceptive Ms. Fox."

"Adam is like a father to me," Shalimar said more to herself then the doctor. "I just can't believe that he would knowingly hurt one of his team members. It's so not Adam." She stood and began pacing around the room trying to fit all this logically in her head. "You are probably the one working for the dominion and trying to get me on your side since Lexa bucked against you!"

Shalimar's eyes went yellow and she went after the doctor in anger. She wanted to stop this man before he spread his lies to the rest of the team but another part of her screamed for her to stop. "You won't get away with this!" She shouted as she grabbed the doctor by the shirt collar and pulled him to her.

"Ms. Fox," the doctor spoke fearing for his life but determined to be strong. "You are lashing out because you do not wish to believe Adam could be working for the creator. If you will unhand me, I will get you my last bit of proof that I am telling the truth.

Shalimar pondered his words for a moment then released her grip on him. Her weak side, that very few had seen, threatened to come bursting out in the form of tears. She feared he was being honest with her but didn't want to believe it. "All right but get it fast." She hissed as he handed her a small tracking device and attached another one to his person.

"You look over those documents and I will return momentarily." The doctor said as he walked off.

He knew it might be too soon but was certain the feral needed a bit of comfort and reality to make her listen. He opened another door and began wiping off a woman's face. "It's time to go see Shalimar sweetheart."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N here is chap 3! Reviews and suggestions are most welcome.

Chapter Three

Lexa snuggled up to Jesse in the bed they now shared frequently. It had been a long struggle for her to gain the trust of the rest of the team but Jesse had come around rather quickly. She still felt occasional hesitancy with Brennan and realized Shalimar only allowed a chosen few deep within her walls. She felt content to share her nights with Jesse and the relationships she was forming with the others. "Lex," Jesse spoke her name for the third time finally gaining her attention. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing much," she smiled at the molecular. "I was just thinking of how glad I am that you trusted me so fast and pushed me into opening myself up for a relationship. You're really a great guy Jes." She said giving her boyfriend a gentle kiss.

"I'm glad we got this far." He smiled and returned the kiss. "I just wish Shal could find happiness. I mean, you would think she and Adam were more than what they really were with how she's acting still."

Lexa gave Jesse a lopsided grin. "Jes, let's be honest here. She keeps rebuffing Brennan at every chance minus a little joking. She talks about Adam in a casual way now but," Lexa pursed her lips in thought. "Emma is the one she gets all defensive over and all but refuses to discuss."

Jesse looked at Lexa with a confused look then shock spread across his face. "Y-Y-You think she," he looked around the room and spoke in a hushed voice. "You think Shal is gay and maybe had this thing for Emma? Is that why you stopped helping Bren get with her?"

"I can't say that she's gay because of the attractions to men that you all have told me about. I wouldn't call it a thing that she has either. I would call it more along the lines of the great Shalimar Fox being totally swept away by Emma." Lexa smiled at Jesse who was trying to compose himself.

"You know, as time went on, Shal grew more and more protective of Em. We all thought it was just because Emma died once then came back. Now, it makes sense. She could be grieving so hard and so long because maybe she never got to tell Emma." Jesse's face grew sad and Lexa snuggled him tighter kissing his lips several times.

"Shal will get through this; she's got us and Brennan to help." She didn't pay Jesse any mind as he flinched at Brennan's helping Shalimar through this.

"Guys!" Brennan shouted in a panic as he pounded on the bedroom door. "I can't reach Shal's comlink and have tried for the last half hour! She should be home by now so I think we need to get on the computers and see what we can find."

Lexa straightened up to go help but Jesse gently pushed her back down to the bed with his hand. "Bren, I think Shal just needs some away time, let it go, give her some breathing room!" The molecular shouted more harshly then he planned.

Brennan contorted his face at Jesse's words and shuffled off down the hall to his room. He had no intention on resting until Shalimar was back home in his watchful sight. "Sure thing!" He shouted as he entered his room.

"Jes," Lexa questioned his actions with her eyes.

"Lex, just trust me please?" He kissed his favorite molecular as she nodded; she knew something was up that he could not tell her at this moment.

- - - - - - -

Shalimar sat reviewing the files Dr. Ellers had given her. She realized she could find some of this information in Adam's private files but was certain he had disposed of much of it after Emma found some information. She could not fathom Adam trying to kill Emma; he loved her as his own child. She knew if she needed more proof, she would do an extensive search and have to involve Jesse. That would not be an easy task. Jesse looked up to Adam and worked hard to please his mentor by keeping the team functioning properly.

Her senses sparkled alive when she picked up a faint but familiar scent. She knew the doctor had someone with him but couldn't figure out who it was. She stood to her feet in preparation for a fight. She, in some way, wanted there to be a fight because that would mean he was lying about all of this. Something nagged at the back of her mind telling her that none of what he said was a lie.

As the door opened, Shalimar's hands quickly dropped to her sides. The woman was in a wheelchair, light scaring on the right side of her face and her hair looked as if it was just growing back in. The feral opened and closed her mouth, as the sad blue eyes of Emma Delauro looked straight into hers. "I fixed her face back as best I could." The doctor offered in hopes all would go well. "She has a governor in her brain that I can not remove."

The feral's eyes flashed yellow as she moved swiftly towards the doctor. This had to be a clone, Emma died and they all saw it. "How dare you try and play with my head like that!" Shalimar's fist connected with the man's face as she shouted. He went sailing into a far wall and she prepared to go after him.

A soft hand stopped the feral in her tracks however. "Shal, don't, he saved me from his daughter and whomever she was working for."

Emma's soft voice rang through Shalimar's ears like a brand new ray of light in a darkened soul. She looked the redhead over then her hands began to shake and breathing became labored. It wasn't long before she hit the floor on her backside, passed out cold. "I'm sorry Emma," the doctor tried to comfort his patient and new friend. "I wish I didn't have to put any of you through that but until I can remove that governor and you're strong enough to then use your powers, I need the help."

- - - - - -

Shalimar awoke in a dimly lit room certain she had just had a dream. She rubbed her eyes and looked to see Emma sitting in her wheelchair next to the cot. "Shal," Emma placed her right hand, which had little scaring as well, on Shalimar's. "I'm sorry; I was unable to contact anyone. I didn't even know where I was and my powers have been halted for a long time."

Shalimar looked into those beautiful blue eyes that had captured her heart long ago. These were the eyes she never thought she'd see again. The eyes she would never take comfort in again nor be able to get lost in again. Yet, there they were, staring straight at her. "Emma, don't blame yourself." Shalimar quickly rose from the bed and embraced the psionic in a long hug. As the tears began to fall, she spoke again.

"Emma, you don't know what I've been through, how many nights I wished you would come back. My life fell apart at the seams when I saw them zip you up in that body bag. Nothing else matters Em because you are here now and I can be strong. I failed you in the worst way and I will do everything in my power to never let that happen again." Emma gently rubbed Shalimar's back with her better hand as the feral sobbed into her shoulder. As her own tears fell, she recalled how she had done this for Shalimar many times. She knew that she was probably the only one who saw the feral's weak moments and felt horrible that she was unable to stop her pain for over a year.

Shalimar suddenly pulled away from Emma and straightened up. She had her old take-charge look on her face as she looked at the psionic. "You and Mr. Ellers need to come to sanctuary. He's done a fine job in protecting you both but we don't know how many are out there. You need the protection of your friends while you're healing and the doctor can be of great help to Jesse I'm sure."

Emma smiled her classic smile at the feral who smiled in return. "I missed that smile so much Emma." The feral said happily, as she hugged her best friend again. "I'm not letting you out of my sight till this is over Emma, buzz the doctor."

"Shal there are things we need to discuss." Emma replied in a weak tone, as she buzzed the doctor. She knew Shalimar would not take no for an answer, even if the doctor had to be left behind.

Shalimar filled the doctor in on her plans and he reluctantly agreed. As he was piling everything he could into some leather bags, Shalimar scooped Emma up in her arms and headed down the hall. "We're going home Emma, the rest can be dealt with later." Shalimar smiled down into the face of the love of her life, wanting nothing more to kiss her but knew it was not the right time.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The group moved quickly out a darkened back entrance. As they stepped out near the helix, three men moved swiftly towards them. Shalimar shifted Emma to one arm and jumped in the air quickly kicking two of the men to the ground. She grabbed a stun gun from one and took out the third as he was about to attack the doctor. She stunned the other two men who lay motionless on the ground for good measure and uncloaked the helix. "Wow," was all the doctor could mutter.

Emma smiled at being in the presence of her friend again. She had missed them all but Shalimar the most. She and Shalimar grew close very fast; they confided in each other about most things and fought along side each other for many missions. When Emma lie in the dark room her captors had placed her in, she just knew Shalimar would come to save her. When the doctor rescued her, she still knew Shalimar would come to her aid soon. That is the one thing Emma knew she could always count on, for whatever her need was, the feral would be there. This was a great comfort to the psionic through many nights of pain and sorrow over the last several months. "Hurry up," Shalimar barked at the doctor who was standing there in awe of the helix.

She got Emma buckled in and then punched in the coordinates of Sanctuary. "You speak highly of Lexa Pierce," Shalimar said to the doctor. "I'm going to contact her so she can get us in with invisibility for you and Emma. I don't want to hash all of this out tonight."

-- - - - - - - - -

Lexa slipped out of bed being careful not to wake Jesse. She made herself invisible and moved towards the hanger where the helix would soon be arriving. She was awakened by a beeping sound on her comlink. She was certain Brennan would pick up the signal easily but she knew this was her signal to phone Shalimar, which she did.

As the helix was brought in, Lexa wondered why Shal made this request of her and whom the other two people were that needed hid for the move inside sanctuary. "Lex," the feral spoke in a rushed tone. "I'm going to go head off Brennan as I'm sure he's awake waiting for me. I want you to get the doctor in your room for the night since you rarely use it and Emma in mine."

"Emma?" Lexa questioned with wide eyes as she looked into the blue eyes of the beloved Emma Delauro. She noticed the scars, the extremely short hair and the fact that Shalimar held the woman up. She gathered from the lightening look of the scars, that someone had been working on the woman. "Lex please, don't ask now. We don't have time, will you trust me please?"

Lexa turned her gaze to the begging face of the feral. She felt pleased inside that Shal had chose her rather than one of the guys, sure, she was the only one who could get them in unseen, but telling one of the guys would have prevented the need of invisibility. "Sure thing Shal," she said and instructed the doctor to pick up Emma then stay close to her.

Trusting Emma and the doctor were safe with Lexa, Shalimar headed towards the kitchen of sanctuary. She knew Brennan would be there waiting. "Shal!" He got to his feet inspecting the feral. "Where were you? Why didn't you call in, why did you send a beeping signal to someone other than me?"

The feral gave him an indignant look as she laughed. "First of all, I'm an adult and do not answer to you. Secondly, you are not God so I do not have to speak to you before anyone else! Thirdly, you are not my boyfriend so do not need to be notified of my comings and goings, as if you would even if you were."

"Shal, I worry about you is all." Brennan said softly as he rubbed his thumb across her cheek gently. "I was sort of hoping that we could have watched a movie, relaxed in the pool and whatever else came along tonight."

"Bren, I told you before that I'm not interested. If you need to know where I was, I went to a dance club to relax. Now, I'm going to bed because I'm tired. I'm sorry for snapping at you also." Shalimar gave him a fake smile and quick hug then went to her room.

-- - - - - -

Lexa had gone back to Shalimar's room to wait with Emma after showing the doctor to her room. She sat in silence seeing the deep in thought look on Emma's face. She had many questions as to how this woman was alive and who this doctor was but knew better than to ask the psionic. Shalimar had a very protective tense look on her face when Lexa spoke with her, which helped Lexa decide to wait on the feral's cue before getting answers. "Hey Lex, thanks for waiting with Emma." The feral said as she entered the room.

"Not a problem Shal," Lexa said as she stood from the chair in front of Shalimar's desk. "I'll make a call in the morning to get a chair picked up for her also. If there is anything else you need," Lexa gave a nod to indicate that she would help and left the room.

"Em," the feral said softly as she pulled a large leather bag from her closet. "I kept a lot of your things, the things I knew you liked the best. How long can you stand on your own?"

Emma gave the feral a half smile. "I can stand still for a couple of minutes and walk on my own a few steps." The psionic replied sadly. "I wonder if I'll ever be me Shal. I have no powers, am loaded with scars and can't even walk."

A hint of anger flashed in the psionic's voice as the feral quickly moved to hug her. "Em, we will get your powers back once that governor is removed. As for the rest of you," Shal placed a finger on the left side of her face, which was the worst. "All of the battle scars may not totally go away but I think the doctor is giving them a good battle." Emma smiled at the Feral and felt relaxed in her embrace. "Now, let's get you washed up and into something to sleep in. We can tackle the shower tomorrow."

Shalimar eased Emma to her feet and kept her steady as they made their way into the bathroom that adjoined her old room with the feral's. "Shal," Emma spoke tentatively as the feral helped her to sit on the edge of the tub. "I'm not ready for," Emma dropped her eyes to the floor in sadness.

Shalimar understood that the psionic must have other scars on her body and was uncomfortable for her to see them. "Em, look at me," Shal tipped Emma's chin up so their eyes met. "I don't care what you look like, you are alive and that is the only thing that matters to me. You're here at sanctuary where you belong, nothing else is important."

As Emma looked into Shalimar's golden brown eyes, she sensed something she'd never felt coming from the feral before. Without her psionic abilities in tact, she couldn't quite make it out. "Well, if these scars don't heal, you will be stuck with me for a long time Shal. Nobody would ever want to be with a disfigured person, even if it is slight disfigurement in areas." Emma said quite certain that her fate was to be alone for the rest of her life.

"Don't be so sure of that Emma," Shal said softly as she began to help the psionic prepare herself for bed.

Shalimar wanted so badly to take her in her arms and kiss her. She wanted to tell the psionic how long and deeply she cared for her; that it didn't matter what healed or didn't heal so long as they were together. She thought against it, knowing they had pressing matters to deal with. She made a vow to herself however, that she would not wait very long before expressing her feelings fully to the psionic. She could only hope Emma wouldn't shy away from her once everything was out on the table.

"Shal?" Emma's soft questioning voice withdrew the feral from her thoughts. "I don't think I can make it all the way back by myself."

"Sorry," the feral smiled as she heavily assisted Emma back to her room. "Do you sleep well at night?"

"Not really," Emma's features darkened. "It was real dark in that place the doctor took me too and I dream of the explosion all too often."

Shalimar stepped in the bathroom for a moment then came back. She slid in the bed next to Emma and pulled her close in a protective manner. "It's all right now Emma. I won't fail you again, I swear." She gave her a friendly kiss on the cheek as she spoke. "No matter who really is or is not involved in this mess, my loyalties lie with you."

Emma felt relaxed for the first time since she could remember. She knew Shal was always there for her and would do everything in her power to keep her safe. She was numb to all the bits of information as to who was and was not involved by this time, having had many sleepless nights of tears over Adam's possible betrayal. "I just hope it isn't true Shal. I know you love him."

"It hurts to think he was on the other side after all Em. If he was on the other team, he wasn't the Adam I grew to love as a father figure so I will get over it. It won't be easy but you always make sad times easier for me." Shal pulled the psionic closer enjoying the contact a little too much. "Em, whatever happens and whoever is not a true friend, we have each other. That is the one thing I'm sure of and it is enough to keep me going."

Emma felt something strange when the feral pulled her closer, she couldn't quite put her finger on the feeling but knew she enjoyed being in the feral's protective arms. "You make it all sound so easy," Emma muttered as Shal gently rubbed her back.

"It will be easy once we get a plan. Now you get a good rest," Shal kissed her friend on the forehead ignoring the aroused sensations being this close to the psionic was giving her.

- - - - - - -

Lexa and Dr. Ellers sat in the lab early that next morning. She had sent Jesse and Brennan on a mission in a safe house. They would be gone until well into the evening and Lexa hoped some things could be resolved by this time. She knew Jesse would be angry with her for keeping this news from him but was not about to cross Shalimar. "This governor is not like mine," Lexa stated lifting her gaze from the computer screen. "There is some sort of chemical solution involved with this one."

"I can't remove it on my own. I was hoping someone could take care of it here." Dr. Ellers said with a frown creasing his face. "You have a vast amount of information at your disposal. Adam left nothing uncovered for sure."

"He was nothing if not thorough. Doctor," Lexa's voice took on a frank tone, as she looked straight at him. "I'm not sure what is on the go here and am willing to wait for Shal before I find out. Let me assure you, if it is anything underhanded on your part, it will not work. If you are on the up and up, I for one will welcome any assistance you would like to give this team."

"I can assure you, I'm on the straight and narrow. I will tell you one thing before the women join us. Emma is the one who contacted me before her untimely tragic event." The doctor returned Lexa's gaze with a smile. "I was very pleased when I learned you had taken over for Adam Ms. Pierce. You were the first patient I dealt with. Naturally I followed your progress and work in the field and am very proud of you."

Lexa studied the man with an intense gaze before turning back towards the computer screen. "We have a lot of work to do." She said somberly and scrutinized the reports of the governor once more.

- - - - - - - -

Shalimar awoke with a peaceful feeling surrounding her for the first time in ages. She looked at the sleeping psionic who was snuggled protectively in her arms. She brushed a few strands of hair away from her face and prepared to awake the psionic. "Em," she said softly as she lightly shook the sleeping woman.

The psionic stretched and rubbed her eyes then looked at Shalimar. "That was the best night's sleep I've had since this all happened."

"Me too," Shal replied and hugged her friend tight. "Em, when you spoke of Adam last night, you said I love him, not loved, is there something to that?"

"I'm alive, he's a clone, chances are he's alive and the creator got him out of dodge so to speak." Emma replied in a matter of fact tone.

Shal processed Emma's very logical theory in her mind then shook her head. "I'm just glad you're here with me."

"I'm glad you found me," Emma replied as each looked into the other's eyes as if basking in the presence of a lifeline that was recently found.

"We'd better get showered and to the lab," Shal said breaking the moment of mental contact between the two women. "Lexa will want answers," She grinned as she helped the psionic slowly to her feet.

A/N thanks for the reviews, keep them coming.


End file.
